Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those [email protected]#$ing c%^&s who trespass against us

‘We all make mistakes. It’s time to forgive’ reckons literati Peter Craven (The Age, August 3).

The fucking fool.

Brendan Shanahan, on the other hand, wants to ‘Thank heaven for mad priests’ (NEWS.com.au, August 3).

Arsehole.

In the meantime, the man in the hot seat, the Very Reverend Monsignor Geoff Baron, has left Melbourne for Sydney, where Carly Crawford caught up with him. In her article, ‘Melbourne’s swearing priest speaks out’ (August 4), Geoff claims that he and other staff at St Patrick’s have been the subjects of a four-year long campaign of harassment by a mob of local skaters, of which the YouTube video captured only a much later — tho’ admittedly unfortunate — outburst. Speaking on behalf of the Melbourne archdiocese, Vicar-General Monsignor Les Tomlinson claims skaters have caused $32,000 damage to Church property (presumably over roughly the same period). In essence then, the Church argues that it’s important to place the padre’s sermon in context, and that context is a priest at the end of his tether.

Like, for the third time…

The sympathies of most commentators seems to rely, ultimately, on their ability to identify with one or other of the parties captured on video: aged priest or teenaged skateboarder. This propensity, in turn, seems to depend on factors such as age, degree of religiosity, and the sense of being either ‘for’ or ‘against’ the earthly authority embodied in such figures as the potty-mouthed priest. Many of the more excitable of his supporters, such as those to be found on Stormfront, remind me of a couple of poems by the Bard of Salford, John Cooper Clarke.

And here they are.

    Bunch of Twigs

    in the isle of man there are no louts
    they’re all down the dungeons dishing it out
    think them tough but tender
    with a bunch of twigs
    and a young offender

    old men with purple necks
    who tell you sport is better than sex
    rejuvenate an old pudenda
    with a bunch of twigs and a young offender

    sweet little fifteen on a summer hike
    vandal maimed, vandal spite
    vandals sent to up above
    a punishment meted out with love

    The Isle of Man

    ex-RSMs with purple necks
    a nose for trouble and kinky sex
    rejuvenate an old pudenda
    with a bunch of sticks
    and a young offender

    where are the weirdos, thugs, and louts
    down in the dungeons dishing it out
    their politics would recommend
    a bunch of sticks and a young offender

    authority its use perverts
    submission to it always hurts
    the cops and the church and the house of keys
    bring back the birch for bums like these

See also : Potty-mouthed priest is a global media * | But wait! There’s [email protected]#$ing more!

About @ndy

I live in Melbourne, Australia. I like anarchy. I don't like nazis. I enjoy eating pizza and drinking beer. I barrack for the greatest football team on Earth: Collingwood Magpies. The 2020 premiership's a cakewalk for the good old Collingwood.
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