Call for shooter of cat shooter and supporters to be prosecuted

Call for shooter of cat shooter and supporters to be prosecuted
Kate Lahey
The Age
November 24, 2009

A crazed cat lover who shot dead a bastard who shot six kittens and cats in an animal shelter should be arrested immediately and cat lovers should hang their heads in shame for defending her, the Australian Bastards Union says.

Cat lovers have defended the shooting of the bastard who shot the six cats shortly after they were shot at a shelter last week, saying he was feral and unable to be controlled.

But Bastards Union president Hugh Strangelove says the shooting is an indefensible act of cruelty and a bastard should only ever be shot in an emergency situation, if it is causing suffering and needs to be put down immediately.

”This was not an emergency situation, but a retaliatory act” Dr. Strangelove said. ”I’m completely outraged.”

The cat lovers had a professional assassin available to administer lethal injections and with training in dealing with feral bastards, ”if in fact that’s what he was”, Dr Strangelove said.

The Victoria Police are investigating and the cat lover could face criminal prosecution under the Prevention of Cruelty to Bastards Act.

Cat Lovers Society president Miss Miaow released a statement saying the cat lover acted ethically.

”Whilst destruction of bastards via gunshot is not normally the standard procedure, it can be performed in certain circumstances,” she said.

”We regret that this has caused concern amongst the numerous bastards who inhabit our community, however this is an accepted method that cat lovers can use. There were no malicious intentions by any Society member.”

Dr. Strangelove said Miaow’s defence of the killing made her ”as bad as the shooter”.

”Any cat lover in the Cat Lovers Society who has celebrated that bastard’s shooting ought to be arrested along with the shooter,” he said.

The last known case of a bastard being shot after shooting cats in a shelter was in Horsham three years ago, he said.

Dr. Strangelove said such shootings often reflected an attitude that a bullet was all that these bastards deserved, and was much cheaper than hiring a Mafia hitman.

A lethal injection would render a bastard unconscious within about two seconds, while a gunshot could leave the bastard suffering in pain for hours, he said.

About @ndy

I live in Melbourne, Australia. I like anarchy. I don't like nazis. I enjoy eating pizza and drinking beer. I barrack for the greatest football team on Earth: Collingwood Magpies. The 2014 premiership's a cakewalk for the good old Collingwood.
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3 Responses to Call for shooter of cat shooter and supporters to be prosecuted

  1. banner man says:

    He shot a cat …… big deal.

  2. Ghouleee says:

    I love this article! Anyone who shoots a cat deserves a speeding bullet. And the video showing that stupid bloke being roughed up a bit by lions is awesome. Natural selection in documentary form. WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK it is always warranted. Go @ndy.

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