DNC 2008

…and The Stimulator is on the case. There’s (literally) fuck-all reportage in the Australian media about the protests, but massive attention is being paid to the horse trading going on within the halls of Democratic privilege.

Ho hum.

Note that yesterday (August 27) police raided the Long Haul infoshop in Berkeley. Police “broke down every door, and confiscated all computers on the property. Computers taken included those used by the Slingshot Collective and East Bay Prisoner Support. Police also broke into cabinets, cut locks, and went through mail.” Police in Denver have also raided the convergence space; another standard police tactic intended to maximise disruption.

One of the more amusing incidents to have occurred involved a hack from Fox News being told to fuck off.

Anyway, here’s The Stimulator:

So much for political science. In the natural sciences:

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to occur, to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

…aaand remember folks: anarchy is a fag!

It’s enough to make a young punk drool.

See also : 2008 DNC / RNC Protests and Events @ infoshop.org | colorado indymedia DNC 2008 | “The RNC Welcoming Committee is an anarchist / anti-authoritarian organizing body preparing for the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.”