Aaarrrggghhh! Dylan Lewis! Tania Lacy! So Much Hate!

Bloody hell. I thought they’d fucked off for good but noooooo…

Number Ones

[NB. Following receipt of the communication below, I have chosen to remove the paragraph which formerly constituted this part of my post:

Subject: FW:Dylan
From: Mark Klemens
Date: 8/6/2009 2:40PM
To: Andy
Cc: Melissa Le Gear

Dear Sir,

We represent Dylan Lewis. It has come to our notice that a website titled “slackbastards” which appears to be controlled or owned by you has made reference to Dylan. Under the subheading “Number One’s” references to Dylan of a defamatory nature have been made. We have obtained legal advice confirming the status of the material as being offensive and defamatory. We seek to have the article/paragraph removed immediately from the website.

Should you not remove the offending material we are instructed to brief solicitors on behalf of our client to seek an injunction and damages.

Mark Klemens
Managing Director
Profile Talent Management
323 Montague St,
Albert Park, Victoria
Australia 3206
T: +613 8598 7810
M: 0412 386 765

On receipt of the above, I replied to Mark as follows:

Subject: Re:FW:Dylan
From: Andy
Date: 8/7/2009 6:32PM
To: Mark Klemens
Cc: Melissa Le Gear

Dear Mark,

Thank you for your email.

First, two very minor corrections.

The title of the blog is ‘slackbastard’, not ‘slackbastards’; the subheading is ‘Number Ones’ not ‘Number One’s’.

Secondly, a few questions.

1. Could you please identify precisely which passages, and which terms, in the paragraph below, that you allege to be defamatory?


Number Ones



2. Could you please explain to me why you seek the removal of the article as a whole?

3. Further, given that the post was made on January 4, 2008, why was your email sent 19 months later, on August 6, 2009?

4. I have received four comments in response to my post of January 4, 2008. I am unaware of anyone else paying it any attention other than yourself. Given that this is the case, could you please explain to me what ‘damages’ have been inflicted upon Dylan Lewis?

I received the following reply from Mark:

Subject: RE:FW:Dylan
From: Mark Klemens
Date: 8/8/2009 7:14PM
To: Andy
Cc: Melissa Le Gear

I refer to my previous email. Should the paragraph as requested not be removed within 48 hours then I will seek our clients instructions to brief solicitors forthwith to commence proceedings against you. Our client will seek an injunction and damages. The result will mean, inter alia, substantial costs orders against you. Please confirm by return when the paragraph has been removed.

Mark Klemens
Managing Director
Profile Talent Management
323 Montague St,
Albert Park, Victoria
Australia 3206
T: +613 8598 7810
M: 0412 386 765]

Number Twos

A) Tania Fucking Lacy.

B) Flogging furniture.

C) Fuck off.

Actor and comedian Tania Lacy has come together with producers Robyn Kershaw and Romy Moshinsky and director Daina Reid to develop Blogger Girl, the story of a woman who decides to fake her overseas trip using a false internet blog and soon discovers her ‘virtual’ life is no match for the realities of day-to-day living.

Hurr hurr.

Two things Bad, one thing Good… (So Much Hate):

I remember
We used to be so idealistic
“Do It Yourself”
We used to care a lot
“Punk belongs to the punx”
It was us – only us
It was never us and them

Now there’s a H.C. corner in every shop
Together with loads of commercial crap
Don’t tell me there’s a difference at all
The price is even the same

Sure I know it’s important
To spread the words and music around
But this is going too fucking far
We’re losing control

There’s agencies and expensive promotion
Just like a mainstream rock’n’roll circus
I know I’m bitching and moaning
I might even sound a bit conservative

But this has been my life
For so many years
And it’s sad to see
We’re only feeding the lions
So sad to see

About @ndy

I live in Melbourne, Australia. I like anarchy. I don't like nazis. I enjoy eating pizza and drinking beer. I barrack for the greatest football team on Earth: Collingwood Magpies. The 2024 premiership's a cakewalk for the good old Collingwood.
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11 Responses to Aaarrrggghhh! Dylan Lewis! Tania Lacy! So Much Hate!

  1. vents says:

    I remember when he hosted ‘Recovery’ on ABC and I thought he was kind of zany and on the edge with that nose ring and hair cut.

  2. @ndy says:

    I always think of this song…

    I’m a bogan, baby, always was;
    I’m only happy when I punch a Mod –
    And in walks this pine head turd,
    I looked at my mates, said, “Thank you, God.”
    Dyed black hair, done all spiky;
    Saw him laugh when they played Bon Jovi;
    Had a jacket on just like a bikie;
    If there’s a bigger Mod, could you please show me?

    Snot nosed jumped up little bludger,
    When I see ya, wanna punch ya.

    Me and my mates were gathered round;
    What was on? Well, nothing much.
    Had me pair of mockers on –
    Denims nearly crushed my crutch;
    Thought I’d go into town,
    But then I said, “Well, what the fuck?”
    Fosters Car Park, I’ve always found –
    Just hang out there and I’m in luck.

    So we followed this guy out of the pub,
    Told him, “Rock and roll will never die”,
    Then down on the dirty bitumen
    Me mates and I showed him just why.
    Do you wanna die for art?
    Do you wear black leather pants?
    Come on down to Fosters Car Park,
    Me and the boys give you your chance.

  3. Andrew says:

    Tania Lacy I’m pretty indifferent to, although I cringe when I remember the “story” she did on the Lib Workers’ rather embarrassing public stunt of getting people to bang pots and pans together on the streets as a protest against Jeff Kennett (remember that?). I am completely behind you on the Lewis issue, though. May his suffering be legendary, even in Hell.

  4. Hahahahaha says:

    Love seeing you so worked up, atndy!

    I saw that ad with Dylan too, what a step-down from the days of glorious stardom (well, OK, I exaggerate a little). Then he was in Celebrity Big Brother – and won, I think? Then nothing happened, till now.

    Tania Lacy, hey, respect: she choreographed Kylie Minogue’s hit ‘Locomotion’ way back when.

    Some worthless trivia I’ve never failed to forget, for some reason.

  5. @ndy says:


    It’s better than bottling it up.

    Btw, Lewis is also a DJ on Nova.

    ‘Locomotion’ was obviously a defining moment for The Singing Budgie, but my desire to see ‘I Should Be So Lucky’ set to atrocity and disaster footage remains unfulfilled… and I’m still yet to view Jim & Debbie Goad’s version of same (with the addition of a laff track).


    Yeah, I remember the pots and pans thing. How anyone could fail to take anarchism and anarchists seriously following that stunt I’ll never know.

    By the way, it’s not Tania Lacy in the ad, it’s some other TV personality of the 80s and 90s who continues to haunt my imagination but whose name escapes me. The thing is, I’m pretty sure she co-hosted MTV with Richard D I C K Wilkins (and no, it wasn’t Alison ‘I really know a lot about music’ Drower). Travelling further down memory lane, I can recall D I C K interviewing (I think) Faith No More; the funny thing was, they insisted on calling him by his name — D I C K — to which, being an obsequious hack, he cheerfully assented.

  6. kate tyson says:

    Take this rubbish off. It is offensive the language used to describe Dylan Lewis. You say that you moderate this site but allow such filthy and abusive comments to exist “one of the most annoying cunts to ever be spat out of a womb”.

  7. @ndy says:

    hi kate,

    you’re right, it’s a mean and nasty comment.

    i think i must’ve been in a very bad mood when i wrote that.

    my apologies for causing you offence — i’m sure dylan is a swell guy. well, i can’t honestly say i’m sure of it, but it remains a possibility anyway. mind you, i do find his tv persona to be incredibly annoying.

  8. @ndy says:

    Oh yeah, that reminds me.

  9. Dewey, Dickham & Howe Attorneys-at-Law says:

    Dear Kate,

    Our client Mike Tyson has taken offence to your fraudulent use of his name in an attempt to boss @ndy around.

    You shall cease and desist being an obnoxious spitting cunt at once or we shall sue you into a million tiny pieces. And then jump on them. Repeatedly. Until… until you’ve had enough.


    Hornsley W. Dickham, Esq.
    Dewey, Dickham & Howe Attorneys-at-Law

  10. Hi Andy – I support you against these HYPOCRITES.

    ProfileNoTalents is owned by $teve Vi$ard who defamed everybody during his time at TheComedyCompany (don’t mention him at the NGAV either) the hypocrisy of this VicBar member Klemens threatening you, not with Actual Law, but with the COST of defending a civil charge makes me want to organise all bloggers to fund you in this to a stage where he is brought down not you.

    Have we turned into China?

  11. weez says:

    By all means, start organising, Marshall. Funding isn’t needed at this moment but buzz & chatter is good. Tweet it.

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