Token post on US Presidential election

“Who won”, I said, “the election?”
He laughed and I felt like a gringo.

In 1619, at Jamestown, Virginia, approximately 20 captive Africans were sold into slavery in the British North American colonies. 389 years and several hundred thousand African slaves later, a black man is set to become President of the United States.

Three cheers and a loud huzzah.

The victory will come at a price but. About $573,000,000 in fact. (McCain has spent a measly $293,000,000.) As for what difference it makes, as Unkle Ken puts it:

Like many other people, I am delighted to see the Republicans collapsing into well-deserved ignominy, with the likelihood of the Democrats recapturing the presidency and increasing their majorities in Congress. Hopefully the latter will discontinue or at least mitigate some of the more insane policies of the current administration (some of which, such as climate change and ecological devastation, threaten to become irreversible).

Beyond that, I do not expect the Democratic politicians to accomplish anything very significant. Most of them are just as corrupt and compromised as the Republicans. Even if a few of them are honest and well-intentioned, they are all loyal servants of the ruling economic system, and they all ultimately function as cogwheels in the murderous political machine that serves to defend that system.

Of course, Obama and McCain are hardly the only candidates, simply the only ones who have any chance of winning. There are lots and lots and lots of other candidates, and some random dumbass has provided the following guide to some of the more, ah… ‘interesting’ potential Presidents:

Lunatic fringe ’08
October 5, 2008

The Presidential election is less than a month away, so I think it is a good time to look at some of the other candidates besides the two idiots who are actually allowed on TV. As much as there is talk of the need for a viable alternative to the two parties the actual candidates are all a few sandwiches short of a picnic. For example let’s look at the four major minor hopefuls:

Bob “Torquemada” Barr (Libertarian), who, when he sat in Congress, proposed the banning of witches in the military.

Chuck Baldwin (Constitution), who’s running to prevent the New World Order from taking over America and taking our guns and aborting our fetuses (or something).

Cynthia McKinney (Green), who thinks the government killed Tupac Shakur. She also blames the Jews for losing her Congressional seat.

And Ralph Nader.

I rest my case. Here are a few of my favorite lesser known nutters:

Jonathan E. Allen. He writes poetry. He thinks America needs a “Heartquake”. God, I hate hippies.

Jeffrey “Jeff” Boss. Finally someone brought the crazy. “Jeff” claims he knows too much about 9/11, and now the NSA (who are the ones who really carried out the attacks) are trying to kill him. Yet they are letting him run for President. His website is also written in all caps LIKE HE’S SCREAMING.

Thomas Stevens is running on the Objectivist Party ticket. Tom is running to “promote Ayn Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism in the political realm”. How this is any different from the Libertarian Party, or the Personal Choice Party, or the Boston Tea Party, is beyond me. He describes himself as a “true adventurer”, because he goes on vacation a lot.

Gene Amondson is an ordained minister, and the candidate of the Prohibition Party. As in the prohibition of alcohol, because that worked out so well the first time. He enjoys painting, and he wrote a cookbook of delicious pies. He also like to stand in front of wineries dressed like the Grim Reaper. It’s good to have hobbies.

All of them look so darn good, but the candidate I’m supporting:

Bradford Lyttle of the US Pacifist Party. Not only does he want to abolish the military he also believes “there is no scientific evidence that masturbation is physically or psychologically harmful”. Finally a candidate talking about the issues I care about.

:: Snog ::

About @ndy

I live in Melbourne, Australia. I like anarchy. I don't like nazis. I enjoy eating pizza and drinking beer. I barrack for the greatest football team on Earth: Collingwood Magpies. The 2024 premiership's a cakewalk for the good old Collingwood.
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2 Responses to Token post on US Presidential election

  1. Lumpen says:

    Joe Toscano must have his hands full with the Melbourne mayoral election. Pity, the USA could have had the choice to usher in a regime of statues more radical than any in history.

  2. weez says:

    @ndy, haven’t you heard? Kamerad Obama is a socialist. Not only is he a secret Muslim, he’s a secret Marxist as well. I know because Fox News said so.

    You and I both know this is code for him being a secret anarchist, which is of course code for him being a secret vegetarian.

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