Anti-social researcher and commentator Slack Bastard was quick off the mark with his answers to newmatilda.com’s 20 Questions.
Dr Slack Bastard is a regular commentator on Australian anti-social trends on radio, in print, on television, and online. His most recent book, Eating the Rich: Food and Equality in Australia was not published by Black Inc. in 2008, despite many threatening letters and a subsequent court battle. He’s written extensively on Australian eating habits — but he hasn’t eaten anyone since 1992. He is the Director of Research at Dipsos and has taken over from Engelbert Humperdinck as the author of the Dipsos Humperdinck Report. We are reasonably certain he updates his own Facebook page, and that the growth in his fanbase will continue to outpace the RSP.
1. What’s the headline you’d most like to see on the front page of a daily newspaper?
“Slackbastard cleared on all charges.”
2. If you could oblige everyone in Australia to click through to one webpage, which one would it be?
This one.
3. What is one thing you’ve always wondered about economics but were too afraid to ask?
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
4. When did you last eat a meat pie?
Right after my last spam margarita.
5. What’s the oldest thing in your fridge?
My great-grandmother.
6. Has anyone got a climate change policy you agree with? Who?
My cat. Bübi?
7. When was the first time you changed your mind on something important?
Shortly after I took my first breath.
8. What’s the household chore you relish the most?
Inspecting the maids’ uniforms.
9. What sort of shoes do you wear to work?
Please explain?
10. What campaigning tactic do you most want to see in this year’s federal election?
Jelly wrestling.
11. Nominate a new public holiday.
Tuesday.
12. If you could go tomorrow anywhere in Australia for a holiday, where would you go?
April 30, 2110.
13. What’s your favourite YouTube video?
14. If you were given $5 million, what would you spend it on?
Commodities, on stolen land, some time prior to WWIII.
15. Who would you most like to sit next to on a long haul flight?
The co-pilot.
16. What trivia question/topic will you beat everyone else in the pub to the buzzer on?
Who’s had too much coffee?
17. Complete this sentence. I’d like to hear Kevin Rudd say “…”
We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn / Burn motherfucker burn.
18. Name someone in Australian public life who deserves a promotion.
There’s life in the Australian public?
19. In 10 words or less, summarise your food philosophy.
Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese.
20. What question should we ask our next interviewee?
Listen man, never mind who this is. We’ve got your wife…
BONUS QUESTION from our last interviewee:
If Jonathan Holmes fell under a bus, who would you like to see hosting Media Watch?
The guy who pushed him.
